Nanowrimo has failed me. Or I’ve failed it. A little of both.

I have never had this much trouble with a Nanovel; with other stories, sure, but the energy of Nanowrimo has always been enough to propel me past doubts and frustrations.

I don’t know what’s going on with me this year.

But the important thing, I suppose, is just meeting my deadlines, of which I have plenty. Writing every day, blah blah blah. The part of me that doesn’t want to crawl into a cave and wait for the world to go away will be working on meeting my obligations.

I collect links like a fiend, and with Nanowrimo almost upon us I thought I’d share what I have found most interesting, most amusing or most useful.
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Current Mood:  accomplished

I’m trying to form some Really Deep Thoughts on plotting, but the trouble is, my thoughts on the subject amount to this:

One: What does your character want?
Two: What prevents your character from getting what he wants?

This is in my notes from the last few days while I’ve been pondering and plotting: What a character wants most is also what they most fear. Also It is an act of courage to show someone who you really are.

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Current Mood:  contemplative

The smell of fall is in the air, the weather is turning colder, there’s snow on the mountain tops . . . must mean it’s time for Nanowrimo.

I’ll be participating this year. This will be my fourth year NaNoing: both Chiaroscuro and Something Beautiful’s rough drafts were NaNoWriMo projects. My first year was a fanfic novel that is still unfinished. (Which is, believe me, for the best.) Last year I did not because I had a deadline in December and didn’t feel I could do both and give either the attention they deserved. But this year . . . ah, this year :D. I have plans. I have a few different plots to choose from for when it’s time to sit and write. I’m so excited. (Really, this is me excited.)

I just cleared out my buddy list at the NaNoWriMo site of names I don’t recognize so if I need to add you back give me a pokin’. I am minorblue (though that may change if they implement the renaming thing they hinted at last year. Or not. I’m easily bored–I change names a lot.) And I will happily accept new NaNoBuddies, because it’s just more fun that way.

I may be doing another Thing in tandem with NaNoWriMo, but that’s still a decision I need to make. So more on that later. Or not.

The t-shirt they have for this year, celebrating NaNoWriMo’s tenth anniversary, is pretty nifty, too. I love commemorative t-shirts.

Current Mood:  calm

• July: movie rough draft: seven pages. It’s been seven pages since last week. But at least that’s seven more than I had in June.
• August: the Four of Cups finished and sent! Which means August will be more movie and working on the Leo-Stuart story.
• September: More of the same. Polish the movie to a fine sheen.
• October: possibly a Christmas-themed novella for Torquere, and I want to start a few things for a Livejournal-based project in February called 14 Valentines, and starting the story for the wedding anthology.
• November: NANOWRIMO.
• December: finish the wedding anthology story, and more 14 Valentines.
• January: finish stories for 14 Valentines, start the next Arcana. I get the Queen of Wands, I think.

I know, not particularly exciting and I haven’t had any Really Deep Thoughts lately . . . but sometimes there just isn’t energy for Really Deep Thoughts, you know?

I realized yesterday morning that I have nothing else scheduled to come out this year. Alas, alas.

• July: movie rough draft, which I know I’ve been saying for months but this time I mean it. My partner wants to take it to a production company in October. I need to stop flailing about it and just write.
• August: the Four of Cups is due to the editor. It’ll be ready. It’s at about 11,000 words right now and just needs one more once-over by the First Reader Brigade for clarity and cohesion. And then movie-polishing.
• September: the Leo-Stuart story. FOR REALS, YO. Finish movie-polishing.
• October: possibly a Christmas-themed novella for Torquere, and I want to start a few things for a Livejournal-based project in February called 14 Valentines, and starting the story for the wedding anthology.
• November: NANOWRIMO.
• December: finish the wedding anthology story, and more 14 Valentines.

I was thinking about Nanowrimo prep—mostly about snacks, of all things—when I realized something.

I’m nervous about Nanowrimo this year.

Now, I’ve participated in Nanowrimo 3 times. I’ve won all three times: twice I’ve completed the novel itself, not just hit the word count (my first Nanovel has never been finished, and considering I don’t know how it should end it will probably stay that way), and last year I got well over the word count to the tune of 63,000 words.

I’ve always had fun. It’s an insane way to create something but I need that energy to actually settle in and do it, I’ve found: I need something prodding me to write every day. They say it takes 30 days to make a habit, which is one of the ways Nanowrimo succeeds: it gives you just enough time to make writing a habit, and if you’re serious about it you’ll stay in the habit. (If not, you’ll not write again until the next November. Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that. My philosophy towards Nanowrimo is that it’s the best, most fun, most exhilarating, way to see if you’ve actually got a novel in you or not.)

But this year, I’m nervous. This is the first year I’ve had something actually riding on Nanowrimo. The first year, the novel was fanfiction, nothing of consequence. The second it was just to see if I could tell a non-fanfic story, which I hadn’t tried since 1997. The third was because I’d gotten ideas from the previous year’s that needed expanding.

But I’m Published now and it changes everything. I’ve never given much thought to sales before now, and while I have no complaints about how Chiaroscuro is doing it’s like there’s an expectation now. I’m excited about my ideas, but I worry if they’re worth pursuing from a selling point of view. That’s a question I have no experience with whatsoever. I’ve always written stories I wanted to read myself and never worried much about audience, because that’s the surest way to freeze. But now I have to, don’t I? Or at least find a way to reconcile the two? Assure myself, maybe, that I’m not the only one who wants to read this stuff?

Hopefully I can push past this wibble and just enjoy the experience like I have in the past. Otherwise . . . geez, I don’t want my writing career to end before it properly begins.

Nanowrimo starts in about six weeks, which is very exciting. I’ve done this three times now (Chiaroscuro began as a Nanowrimo project, and then grew) and always enjoyed it. As I’m something of an adrenaline junkie (though very safe adrenaline, like roller coasters and tattoos) I find the group energy very stimulating.

Last year’s project was about another couple from the same universe as Chiaroscuro (I find these boys very inspirational—must be all the pretty) and I was planning for this year’s to be about a third couple from the same ‘verse. But now I’m reconsidering . . . see, I’ve had this title looking for a story in mind for years and years, and I think I’m finally ready with a plot. I was planning to write it as a Single Shot for Torquere, but now I’m thinking, You know, this is a pretty complex plot, it could be fifty thousand words . . .

I’m torn. I mean, I have 45 days to decide, but deciding is the hardest part. And this one will involve some research and stuff. Fortunately I’ve got a lot of sources on this particular subject. The part that worries me most, though, is that it’s a genre I’ve never explored much: it’ll have some supernatural elements, some adventure elements, and of course the romance element. And I always feel a little silly writing about the fantastic. (Well, perhaps not always: in jr. high I wrote a report on lycanthropy for a science class. Got an A on it, too. But that’s vastly different from writing fiction about something supernatural, and trying to keep to its rules and still keep it fresh.)

Expect waffling on this until November 1st.

Also, I want to revise last year’s Nanovel before Nanowrimo begins. Of course, I’ve been wanting to do this all year and have so far been unsuccessful in settling into it. My discipline is shot. Woe.